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Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home.
  Chuck Norris' semen cures cancer. Too bad he has AIDS.
  Chuck Norris does not sleep. He passes out after two wine coolers.
  The chief import of Chuck Norris is cock.
  Chuck Norris shampoos with conditioner, and then actually repeats.
  Chuck Norris masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
  Chuck Norris once became popular for no apparent reason whatsoever.
  A Chinaman once told Chuck Norris that his penis was small during a karate tournament.
  Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
  Chuck Norris' most lethal art is face painting.
 
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  • Chuck Norris is currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his left and right breasts.

  • Chuck Norris was the original choice to play the lead role in the movie, "Boys Don't Cry". Hilary Swank replaced him because test audiences found him to be gayer than 9 guys blowing 8 guys.

  • Chuck Norris has no friends on Myspace. Not Even Tom.

  • Chuck Norris once fought Vin Diesel... and got absolutely fucked up.

  • Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because of their potency, silent because his butthole is extremely loose.

  • Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married.

  • Chuck Norris has to employs a legion of Mexican landscapers to suppress the wilderness that is his back.

  • Chuck Norris was once trapped in a paper bag for 3 days.

  • Chuck Norris has 2 speeds. Hard and harder. He uses these when making love to other men.

  • The leading causes of death in the United States are Heart Disease, Cancer, and AIDS. Chuck Norris has all three.